


(don't) play out the part

by cha hugyeon (jeadore)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, mentioned hakyeon/wongeun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-09 14:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16451360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeadore/pseuds/cha%20hugyeon
Summary: It takes a few years for Hongbin to break his second male lead curse. The story behind it is not your typical rom-com blockbuster.





	(don't) play out the part

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I did some justice to the prompt. Thank you, dear beta♥  
> Enjoy!

 

_ Cinema is a matter of what’s in the frame and what’s out. _

_ ― Martin Scorsese _

  
  


Years later, when the cameras click insistently, taking shot after shot of his face, and the whole room is paying attention to his every word, Lee Hongbin will be asked why he chose to work in the mini web drama  _ What’s up with these kids? _

With an easy smile that will barely showcase his dimples, he will answer in a cheeky tone. “I’m an actor. I needed to work. Like my character, I had debts to pay too. I still have,” he will add and the press room will erupt in laughter. In sympathy, in empathy.

Lee Hongbin has the charm of your typical boy next door, yet striking, handsome features and a great hot body that make people fawn over him _ ― _ the articles will praise him that night. Some will also talk about his skills on screen.

A manicured hand will raise up high in the middle of the crowd. “That’s the first time you worked with VIXX’s leader N, right?”

“Ah, Hakyeon hyung? Yeah, that’s when we got closer.”

 

 

 

When they first met, Hongbin was drowning in a tumult of emotions.

His first significant role was as a nice guy in  _ Glorious Days _ . A three-episode appearance that barely brought him any attention and posts on Pann. They praised his looks and his broad back. Then it came  _ Moorim School _ , an action-filled drama next to a movie star. It was a big role, ironically the one that initiated what later Gongchan called the second male lead role curse. The drama was mildly successful, despite the renowned names on it. At least it opened him a door to award shows and his own Naver fan page.

_ What’s up with these kids? _ was the first role he landed without prior audition. Maybe he should have been a bit suspicious. They never wanted a sensitive kid with a deep character development, they just wanted a pretty face to repeat bland lines about investment, good money management and badly concealed product placement.

And he was a second male lead again, second to some idol actor.

 

 

 

Once he was told that idol actors were a poisonous threat to the industry. Bland performers, with barely any formation in acting and losing control of their emotions  _ (“if they even have any”) _ soon after the three-minute mark. Auditions were a mere formality for them because they would always get the role, thanks to their somehow dedicated fan base.

They were at the waiting room for an audition, his company sunbae clicking his tongue at the entrance of some mid-tier idol. He knew it wasn’t completely true, he knew there were idol actors way better than him out there, but he chose to believe it, he chose to clutch that belief desperately when he came back home with crushed hopes.

Idol actors were a threat—and Cha Hakyeon may be the worst of all to him.

An idol’s smile—a  _ celebrity _ ’s smile should be charming. Hongbin should know about it, he took a lesson about it in the company. Wide but not enough to show all your teeth, curved lips and eyes crinkling. Bright. Or, even better that that: alluring grin.

This idol’s smile was something else when he introduced himself. Bright, alluring and warm. The right amount of curved fine lips and white pearly teeth, the right amount of warmth and charm. Effortless.

“Ah, VIXX. Like VIPS, but with double X?”

Hongbin joked he would try not to forget the group’s name. Truth is: he never did.

 

 

 

He was called a typical flower boy before he even started. Pretty, but void of any talent.

Can’t dance, can’t sing, can he even MC?

“Don’t you want to be an actor instead?” the CEO suggested, a lot gentler than others before. Hongbin had seen some of the other auditions. Modern dancers, ballad singers, underground rappers, most of them high schoolers. All of them chasing a dream, all of them eager to taste fame.

Hongbin wasn’t a lot different. So he accepted and signed a different contract.

At least he appeared in some music videos.

 

 

 

Cha Hakyeon, he discovered, was unexpected. He was hardworking, graceful and not that bad of an actor. He had some issues, some rough edges to smooth when he recited his lines, yet he knows how to look at the camera, how to express intense emotions with just a glance. Some of it may be given his prior participation in some dramas before, given his modern dancer background, or given something Hongbin couldn’t pinpoint.

Wittiness is laced in his every word and also a bit  _ lot _ of sassiness when he's comfortable, which he happens to get quite easily. He is smooth at talking and at giving praise as if it were an everyday thing and the last drop of water in a dessert at the same time. Hongbin found himself bickering with him often in the dead hours of the night, way before dawn and before the cameras started rolling. It awakened him, even more than the bland coffee the staff used to give them.

“Should we practice our fighting scene? I don’t want to hurt you. What do you think our characters feel?”

“Hakyeon hyung, it’s time to roll.”

“Wongeunie told me once I should forget my name before the director yells  _ action _ . You think the same?”

He also used to mention some Lee Wongeun an awful lot.

  
  


 

 

“It was the start of a good friendship, right? Did you imagine it’d turn this way?”

By then, Hongbin will be more used to this type of question, this onslaught of inquires about his personal life. It’s a part that it isn’t really taught in the acting lessons, barely mentioned in the company meetings. It’s the art of studying yourself as a character, of good improvising so it’ll come off as natural.

By then, Hongbin will have have improved considerably. No more still blinking, no more excessive cringing. Just a stroke of fondness hidden in his low voice.

“Cha Hakyeon is really easygoing. He has this compulsive need to befriend every single soul in the set before shooting starts,” he will answer in a cheeky tone. The audience will love it—a praise mixed with a snarky comment. A reminiscence of every  _ bromance _ showed on TV.

“Do you miss him?”

“That hyung is annoying. Of course I do.”

 

 

 

The first time they crossed paths, actually, was on the set of a quite known high school drama about heirs of great fortunes. They were mere extras, Hongbin standing next to the boy group like any other member dressed up in a wine red suit and glitter. Playing as a nice, pretty wallpaper.

The leader of VIXX asked him to please take good care of him and the rest of the VIXX members as if he wasn’t actually his  _ sunbae _ . As if it wasn’t the first time on a drama set for the both of them.

Hakyeon made a habit of sending him Kakaotalks every day after he finished the recording of a music show. Maybe because Hongbin made a habit of watching the performances and making comments about them every now and then first. It became a bit of an addiction boosted by admiration and some harmless envy, especially after the frenzy comeback schedule VIXX got into during 2016. Hongbin grew used to seeing Hakyeon on screen more than face to face during promotions, and then to luring the other to meet up in chain cafés for sweetened milkshakes and easy banter.

It was in between VIXX promotions that he started watching more and more often N-focused fancams. Without the various wide shots of the camera and the shifting from one angle to another of the music shows, but a more stable and awkwardly angled camera, Hakyeon was stunning. His every move was calculated, elegant and graceful. His singing voice was like warm honey, his emotions and expressiveness were impressive. Even his fan service was beyond good.

No wonder he got to be a celebrity. He was the full-package idol after all.

“I do all those things too,” B1A4’s Gongchan—his so-called best friend—remarked in an amused tone.

Hongbin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you do.”

It wasn’t the same.

  
  


 

 

It wasn’t the same to see it live either.

Every VIXX concert he went to was a Live Fantasia, as publicized.  _ Elysium _ was dark, haunting, as electric as every riff of the guitars they used to version their songs with a rock sound. He was taken aback by their powerful performances and their clear voices, but especially by Hakyeon’s solo. Strong, chaotic, tantalizing.

( _ If you can be good, you'll live forever. If you're bad, you'll die when you die, _ the song boomed. Hongbin never questioned Hakyeon’s choice.)

On the other hand,  _ Daydream _ felt like an otherworldly experience. Dreamy, ethereal. Hakyeon looked beautiful and eerie garbed in a flowy hanbok, yet strong and fierce with his slanted feral eyes rimmed in red as he performed his elegant and detailed solo. Breathtaking.

(The song talked about fate and endless eternal love. Hongbin did question this.)

The dream strengthened when Hakyeon looked in the direction of the VIP plateau and a tiny, candid smile bloomed in his glossy lips.

The dream shattered a little when Hongbin realized it was directed towards someone in the row behind him—Lee Wongeun.

 

 

 

“For an independent film,  _ Scentist _ is an ambitious story about hidden love, right on the edge between lovely and toxic. It tells the story of two men with great noses, perfumers, obsessed with the finest scents that fell for each…”

“I would rather call it dark and twisted.”

The director will take advantage of Hongbin’s interjection to explain further the plot of the film with grander, deeper words. Scents as a metaphor of the rotten values of current society, of the boundaries people are willing to disrespect just to pretend.

The press won't pick up in that.

“It’s your first role since  _ Wednesday 3:30 p.m. _ as first male lead. There you were a coffee curator in a lovely story revolving around love and the importance of SNS. And now a man addicted to work. Don’t you think your roles are too  _ real _ ?”

A smirk will appear in his face, tiny, challenging. “Isn’t acting a way of mimicking life?”

“But it’s a bit different from your other lead role, right? It’s in a LGBT movie…”

 

 

 

Gongchan once mentioned that to break his _ curse _ he better get rid of the female counterpart.

Hongbin laughed because that sounded like an assassination-based plot. He kind of liked the idea.

 

 

 

Sometimes Hongbin descended into the madness that online forums and Twitter are. He looked for articles about him, about VIXX, about Hakyeon. Fans loved to take lots of pics of the latter when he was dancing, ethereal. Videos too _ ― _ they even did fan art.

Fans  _ shipped _ Hakyeon with his other group members. With Wongeun too. With Hongbin.

It was all due to the dramas and behind the scenes they were together in, and to the Instagram posts.  _ Hakyeon’s cute dates with his boyfriends _ .

Some people used the  _ Celebrity Bromance _ episode between N and Wongeun as proof of them being more than friends. (Hongbin was on the show with Gongchan, it meant nothing, he convinced himself). 

It wasn’t a competition, but Hongbin felt like he was losing.

So Hongbin appreciated when Hakyeon called him to do  _ Battle Trip _ together.

  
  


 

 

Right now, Hongbin is kissing him senseless. It’s not pretty, it’s not the right angle either, and it wouldn’t look good on camera. It doesn’t even show a defined mix of emotions. Just a wild range of love, desperation, desire.

Any director would go nuts over them and scream  _ cut _ .

They don’t stop.

Hakyeon kisses him back.

  
  
  
  


“Rumour has it that you were the one who recommended Cha Hakyeon as your counterpart,” another reporter will pipe in.

“I did.”

“Wasn’t it weird to do it with a friend? He’s an idol, weren’t you afraid of his fans?”

“He's also a professional. Both of us are.”

Hakyeon got to work with Jisung in a tvN drama, an assured success that would get him more and more works for sure. Even if his role wasn’t big, it gave him the chance of a breakthrough.

Meanwhile Hongbin got another secondary role in a drama in a small cable channel. The real true love of a witch that fell instead for a company CEO. It got mild bland success, enough to be called a charming story.

Lee Wongeun got another three movies, two of them with known actors and great positive critiques.

It wasn’t a competition, but sometimes it felt like it.

 

 

 

Hakyeon got beyond tipsy quickly. It was kind of surprising, because Hongbin had never seen him that way. Hakyeon avoided drinking or compelled everyone to drink just one beer like him. But not that day--that day he downed a whole bottle of soju and got beautiful rosy cheeks.

“You know, Binnie? Acting is like… taking an exam. And I am used to being examined and dissected all the time, but lately… I’m tired.” 

By the wavering in his tone and the way he slurred the words, tired wasn’t the only thing he was feeling. Maybe exhausted and helpless too. Hongbin complied when he raised his glass, asking silently for another refill. Soju was bitter and easy to drink, easy to let it loosen up their wraths and worries under the bar’s neon lights.

“We’re stigmatized in this industry. Idol actors, pretty faces. They treat us as if we weren’t worthy; there's always another pretty face in the line. People don’t consider you a real actor unless you participate in a heart-wrenching drama, unless you do do a heavy socially aware movie. And still... There’s barely any room for people like me in those.”

“What do you mean, hyung?”

Hakyeon sighed. “I want to grow as an actor, grow out of this phase, and do something important, something that could make a statement. But I guess I also want to get paid.”

“As do I.” 

A fond smile bloomed in Hakyeon’s lips, a lovely expression accompanied by his rosy cheeks. Maybe Hongbin was drunker than he thought because he barely reacted when the other created a minor ruckus as he leaned forward to peck his cheek. Then the completely flustered one was Hongbin, red ears and trembling fingers. He made a show of complaining, a big grin betraying his words, and Hakyeon chuckled loudly.

The atmosphere didn't last long.

“Wongeunnie did something big, you know?  _ In between Seasons _ could have meant a lot,” he started. Hongbin remembered watching the movie in the opening week, at the back of the theatre, slightly envious at the way Wongeun portrayed a shy careful guy tormented by the prospect of losing his boyfriend in a car accident and facing not only his boyfriend’s mother but society’s homophobic remarks. “He could have made a statement right then and there.”

Hakyeon downed another shot of soju. His long neck exposed, enticing. His eyes hooded and gloomy, the picture of the most beautiful melancholy.

“He chose not to.”

  
  


 

 

In dramas, the confession always transcends as one of the key points of the plot. Realization may be slow, but the confession is sudden. Filled with emotions—tears, love, happiness, cheekiness, tragedy. Always accompanied by a heart-wrenching line.

Hongbin never confessed. He doesn’t want life to be a mimicry of his acting.

  
  


 

 

When it boiled down to knowing oneself as a character, Hongbin learnt every bit of his own personality. Awkward at first, laid back, hardworking, insecure, a bit of a smartass, anxious, easily embarrassed, bluntly honest when he wanted to. Even if it had to be with himself. And the truth was that at some point in their friendship, it became clear that Hongbin needed Hakyeon to be at ease, to be happy. It wasn’t something he wanted to think about though, he knew well the plot, the clichés, the possible endings. He knew damn well his role too—he had played the part many, many times by then. 

But still, he couldn’t help but ring Hakyeon right after he received the news. Even before Gongchan, even before his own mother.

“Hyung! I got it! My possible breakthrough!” he beamed into the phone, incapable of holding back his excitement. “I got called back! For a drama with Seo Inguk!”

There was some noise at the other side of the line—steps, VIXX’s latest comeback song and some unmistakable ruckus in the background. Hakyeon shushed someone, Lee Jaehwan if he didn’t hear it wrong, and said a gleeful “Congratulations, Binnie!” The noise didn’t stop, but it got farther and farther until he heard the click of a door. And then: “I hope to see your face everywhere two years from now.”

Hongbin stared at the bookcase of his room filled with old scripts, Park Hyoshin albums and signed VIXX photobooks. 

“What are you talking about?” he questioned with a heavy tongue, every ounce of happiness draining from his body.

“I’m enlisting next year.”

He knew his role, the clichés and the plot. Still some plot twists caught him off guard.

  
  


 

 

If he's honest with himself, it is a competition. And as Hakyeon moans a name with parted lips as he goes down on him, Hongbin takes the determination to win.

“Bin, Binnie. I’m close…”

He is close too. So he gets up and goes for his fine tempting lips, swollen from all the kissing and from the way Hakyeon bites back his sounds. He’s been an idol for seven years, he might be used to it by now. But Hongbin wants to feel everything—the sounds, the smell, the taste, the touches, the passion. He wants Hakyeon to be himself. So he licks the insides of his mouth, relishing on the warmth and the spiced honey-like moans as their their bodies slide together.

“Who is going to send you away?” Hongbin asks after a minute of heavy breathing.

Hakyeon barely lifts his head from Hongbin’s chest to look at him. “Huh? My parents for sure. And some of my VIXX members, I guess.”

“Can I go?”

Hakyeon stills. “There will be rumors if you do.”

For a moment, Hongbin is tempted to shrug. “I received a script yesterday,” he starts instead.

 

 

 

“Congratulations on your Rising Star Award. Before the press conference wraps up, would you like to say something about your next projects or something else?” Hongbin will click his tongue.

Then he will stare right into the camera, right into the soulless eyes, right into someone’s heart, maybe.

“Hyung, I’m waiting for you.” 

  
  


 


End file.
